LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City

UGH NATALIE REFUSES TO SUP ON MY SIZZURP. This episode covers chapters 2 and 3-- heartbreak comes in ALL forms in the world of SJM and sometimes that heartbreak is from a relative who refuses to get addicted to your body's heroin sizzurp. I JUST WANNA SEE IF SHE *CAN* GET ADDICTED TO ME is that such a crazy thing to ask? What's a crazier thing to ask is for your fighting slave dragon to GIVE EM A SEXY MOIDA SHOW but the Viper Queen does not mind asking those questions!!! Starting off this book with PLENTY of dissent-- Tharion's...

GUESS WHO'S BACK-ACK-ACK NATJACK'S BACK-ACK-ACK (do you hear the slim shady in that?) here we come to save the DAAAAY!!! (maybe a lil mighty mouse instead?) DID YOU MISS US?!?!??! We are back-in-the-habit sister act 2-style but don't worry we won't be turnin into nuns anytime soon! House of Flames and Shadow is here and it AIN'T easin us back in. We jump RIGHT BACK INTO where we ended House of Sky and Breath and Bryce is in......Prythian??!?!?!?! WITH OUR BAT BOYS?!?!?! and we are inside the mind of a double agent at a torture party for boyz...

If you came to Crescent City to get a HEA from book 2, WE HATE TO DISAPPOINT YA! NOT A LOTTA HAPPY GOIN ON HERE SRRYYYYYYYY! We last left Bryce on a portal journey to Hel but that wormhole definitely doesn't end in Hel....... In ch 77, everything is looking as bleak as a battle can look when all of Team Fuck You gets Rigelus'd harrrrrrddddddd. Hunt is in Gorsian shackles and goes through the horrific process of gettin' slaved up again and they reeeeally want portal Bryce to hear it (ugh SJM thanks for making the idea of slavery ALMOST...

If you came to Crescent City to get a HEA from book 2, WE HATE TO DISAPPOINT YA! NOT A LOTTA HAPPY GOIN ON HERE SRRYYYYYYYY! We last left Bryce on a portal journey to Hel but that wormhole definitely doesn't end in Hel....... In ch 77, everything is looking as bleak as a battle can look when all of Team Fuck You gets Rigelus'd harrrrrrddddddd. Hunt is in Gorsian shackles and goes through the horrific process of gettin' slaved up again and they reeeeally want portal Bryce to hear it (ugh SJM thanks for making the idea of slavery ALMOST...

It's a firstlight party and all the Angel bottom holes are invited!!! If by firstlight party you mean a not party trapped in the Asteri's house with some torture on the schedule!!!! In ch 75, we jump RIGHT BACK INTO THE SCENE after having a huge truf bomb dropped by Agent Daybright but there's no time to talk it out. There's MURDER and WORLD SAVING to be done! Ya hear THAT, Harpy?! Oh you might have a difficult time hearing after this chapter! Ruhn is wiggin out but the HIND'S GOTTA HIND. In ch 76, we find ourselves in the CHOPPED-OFF-ANGEL-WING...

GET READY FOR AN INFO DUMP ON THIS ONE but hopefully they won't be dumping the info where the Asteri take their lightfall!!!! In ch 72, we are following Team Fuck You as NOBODY follows the plans they set out with. Bryce is by herself following tubes and staring at *conquered solar system maps* to find out Dusk's Truth, Ruhn is running off to follow his downstairs nose to find Agent Day and Tharmian are making crazy explosive battle moves. In ch 73, ugnnnghhhhhh Rigelus has been watching us the whole TIME?!?!? How did they know Team Fuck You's plan-that-no-one-stuck-to?! In...

OoooooOoooOohhhHHhhhh errybody loves an "I LOVE YOU I MIGHT DIE TODAY" battle build up!!!! In Ch 69, Cormac and Ruhn start to have a bad-dad-sad-boy-brodown in a Jeep while Hunt gets his weapon sneak on before bumping into Celestina (but don't worry remember we are alllllll shrouded in secrecy protection!!) In Ch 70, Tharion and Cormac are in full on battle mode and Team Fuck You is getting to their battle start positions. Bryce and Ruhn have very cute siblings-bout-to-die moment before Cormac drops big YOU GOTTA BE QUEEN hype on a pre-battle Bryce. In Ch 71, as we move closer to...

Come on down to the viper's den THE BLOOD'S ADDICTINGGGGG!! In Ch 67, we start off with Tharion desperately needing protection (from his groin's choices) and running right into the veins of a SNAKE! Then Ruhn's groin is also getting him into battle position and maybe that's when they'd stop and think "is this all because I want my willie to get wonka'd" and the answer is yes AND.... it's to like, save everybody. In Ch 68, with their groin powers combined Team Fuck You can hopefully get into the Asteri's palace and start the Battle of Hullaballoo before Pippa Stetsos...

Dry January but make it WET! (ugh but NOT with the River Queen's daughter, Tharion!!!) This corpse-and-bitch duo is hanging with our goons while we get everything situated for the BLOW OUT ACTION at the end of this book! In chapter 65, we got a Danika Truther comin at us dog style and Bryce can't believe her bestie had EVEN MORE SECRETS? Get used to it, gurlllllll!!!! But also Baxian is a corpse truther as well??? GIVE US THE NUMBERS, DOG!!!! In chapter 66, Bryce meets with Fury to get intel and her #life situated while Tharion sticks his FIN WHERE...

Bryce is giving a 'yes chef' to Apollion in this episode because when a star eating daddy tells you to WERK you WERK, BITCHHHHHHH. In ch 63, Bryce is desperately trying to hone her teleporting skills and unfortunately this time she's not practicing through teleporkin'. Ugh and if she doesn't go to Urd's Temple the Under King is gonna shred the already dead Pack of Devils ughhhhhhh she has ENOUGH ON HER PLATE! She finally shares the TEENIEST bit of info with a kept-in-the-shadows Cormac and spilled that Emile is both POWERLESS and still alive. In ch 64, we follow Tharion...

In ch 61, we jump into the middle of a TRYNA NECROMANCE party and of course Ithan convinced Hypaxia to use her powers to find Connor because Ithan only has the power to annoyingly get in the way and screw things up. Does she find Connor? NAY. Does she find heaps of trouble instead? YAY. Ugh then we go over to the brainbridge with our spy loves but Daybright knows Night is Ruhn..... BUT WHO IS DAYBRIGHT (ahhh-ahh-ahhhh) and is she fighter of the night man (ahhh-ahh-ahhhhhh)? In ch 62, Bryce gets a visit from Apollion (the Prince of the Pit...

OHHH TO BE FANCY AT AN AUTUMNAL EQUINOX BALLLLLLL ohhhhh and that's where we find ourselves at the top of ch. 59 and errybody in our fam is having a TIME ABOUT IT! Autumn King is pissed cuz Bryce is out here droppin truths (although she told NOBODY SHE PLANNED TO) and Hunt can't keep his lightning off her big bangin body. In ch 60, Ruhn is hanging with his betrothèd Hypaxia until she feels compelled to introduce herself to her bitch sister The Harpy. UGH AND THE HARPY'S NOT NICE ABOUT IT. While this uncomfortable exchange is going on, R...

It's a bro-thel and I'm not the ho-thel they want but the ONE THAT THEY NEED. We start ch 56 with a wolf boy on the mend (ugh unfortunately Hypaxia's soooo magical medicinally smart that Ithan's throat isn't gone forever 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫), we find out that Hypaxia and Tharion are BUDDIESSSSSS and that Tharion would love to add his fins to the boy's Party Haüs. CUTTTEEEE I hope they play a lotta "sword" games in their downtime. We call penis shennaneries that, right? In chapter 57, we are with Ruhn takin a trip to the bridge and are we gonna meet our DAYBRIGHT AT THE PARTY TONIGHT...

In chapter 54, it's time for Bryce to TALK OUT SOME OF THE DECISIONS SHE HAS MADE but first she needs to be annoyed by Daddy King telling her about her forced name change! UGH STAY OUT OF MY LIFE DADDY but maybe she just needs a bitch seshhhhhhhh and who does she call? Not the Ghostbusters (because I think they'd probably disrupt Hypaxia and all her necromancy and ghost tutors and stuff?) but maybe Bryce needs a not-like-the-other-girls kiki with her Queen Doctor Witch someday sissy-in-law Hypaxia. In chapter 55 (ugh the opposite of ACOMAF ch 55) Ithan is tasked with...

YOU KNOW WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKIN FOR A FISHASS TO FIGHT! But a fishHEAD? Oh no, I wouldn't open THAT can of worms! In Chapter 52, we find Tharion and I'm starting to think that the River Queen just KNOWS that Tharion is not very good at being Captain of Intelligence and keeps him there because she knows he's gonna EFF IT ALL UP? When we get back to Ruhn's place we see that HYPAXIA HAS ENTERED THE CHAAAAT! OOF BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT you a witch bitch AND you're so spooky spesh that no one accepts...

OH GOSH YOU KNOW WE ARE STILL IN A LOTTA TROUBLE and somehow more trouble just KEEPS finding us??? In chapters 49-51, we travel with our mated Bryce and Hunt but they are currently not in the greatest of moods as they visit the Viper Queen in the Meat Market. Everyone in this book keeps manifesting more chaos and that INCLUDES the child slave/boring human child Emile. Bryce keeps making CHOICES out on these streets and it'd be real tight if she could start sharing those choices with other people? We also get to learn about BLOOD EAGLES...

On today's episode, Natalie and Jackie end part 2 and head right into Part 3: The Pit and even though it's not talking about an underarm you can still believe that our gang is gonna be finding themselves in some STANK. Our scooby squad is found back with the corpse of Sophie Renast and she has some questionable etchings in her chest?? NOT HELPING CORMAC'S GRIEF. Ugh and boring Cormac won't even let Tharion drag her corpse down to his River Queen to do god knows what with it-- ANNOYINGGGGGGG. We also tumble down with Day and Night on the brainbridge...

 As we discuss chapters 45 and 46, did Ithan maybe accidentally make one decision that was kinda good? YES! Will they probably still get in a lotta trouble for it? DOUBLE YES! But for now, Ithan can wag his tail like a good boy because we have added three new ring slave fire sprites and a sexy nude mean dragon lady to the party house! Cut back to our Squid Ship Savior, we also meet a cavernous biodome fulla tropical trees and by meet I mean we talk to one and by talk to one I mean Natalie dressed AS the b...

As we careen through chapters 42 and 43, we have poor exhausted Cormac teleporting all his besties to the WET RUMBLE! These mechsuits are creepy deepy and how the h are they going to stop them? GET A MECHXPERT IN HERE! Pippa certainly ain't helping and she proves herself to be a REBEL AND SHE'LL NEVER EVER BE ANY GOOD! She's a rebel cuz she never ever does what she should! Hunt has gone electrofyingly feral and we are HERE. FOR. IT. Maybe that SCARY STINK on he and Bryce is the stink of matehood? That matehood is drivin Hunt CUCKO...

This episode covers chapter 42 and she is thiccccc with events and questionable choices!! Even though Bryce is FAILING on the gal pal front, she is KILLIN it with the angel kiki she is having with Celestina! HOORAY SHE FREED HUNT'S LOINS but he ain't the only thing freed in this chapter! Ithan meets the poor freed mystic and gets some idears for them big astronomer SPRITE PRISON rings. Tharion is gettin his bubble busted by the River Queen as per usual while Ruhn is lookin to get HIS bubble busted out on the brain bridge but in a VERY...