A Moment of Hope

by David Chadwick One mid-afternoon, my mother wandered from the house alone with no one knowing where she was. Dad became frantic and panicked. Several hours went by. Finally, a neighbor called to say he'd seen her several blocks away. When we went to get her, she didn't even remember having wandered away. Soon thereafter, our worst fears were confirmed. Doctors diagnosed her with an advancing, slow-moving form of dementia. Most Alzheimer's patients experience memory loss and eventual death over an eight-to-nine-year life span. Mom's lasted for seventeen long, arduous years. We watched this gracious...

by David Chadwick "Those are just words," people sometimes say dismissively. They are trying to state how unimportant another person's perspective or opinion is. They are saying words don't really matter. But they are wrong. Dead wrong. Words are important. They were God's idea. He invented words. They come from his heart. They express ideas, feelings, and insights. Try having an intimate, meaningful human relationship without words. It's impossible. Even the hearing-impaired have hand signals—a way to "hear" and express words from and to another. When God wanted to show his character, "the Word be...

by David Chadwick In Bible times, for a city to be safe, there needed to be strong walls erected around the city. When an enemy attacked a city, he would first lay siege against the walls. When the Babylonians captured Jerusalem in 586 BC, they completely razed the walls surrounding the holy city. The Jews were taken into captivity for 70 years. Persia eventually overthrew Babylon and became the world's foremost power. Cyrus, the king of Persia, then allowed some Jews to return home to Jerusalem and the surrounding area. In the Bible, the book of Nehemiah...

by David Chadwick It was the most difficult time I'd ever experienced in ministry. People who were once my supporters became my critics. And the number of critics seemed to grow every day. Over time, I felt increasingly alone and discouraged. I wasn't exactly sure what I needed to do next. Sensing my frustration and need for rest, one of the church members arranged for Marilynn and me to escape for a week at the beach. On the first night away, I couldn't sleep. After a couple of hours of fitful attempts at sleep, I...

by David Chadwick The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart. What wise words these are! Most all we do in life flows from what first happens in the heart. Solomon echoes this truth with this poignant piece of wisdom: "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life" (Proverbs 4:23). He knew the importance of the heart. He knew that everything in life flows from what's happening within. That's why a person needs to keep and guard the heart with all vigilance. In our physical...

by David Chadwick We husbands are often "Captain Oblivious" with our wives. We live disconnected from them. They often have insights that could help us in many different areas. They are often transmitting signals to us. But, like radio waves needing a transmitter for sounds to be heard, we don't have our transmitters turned on. And if they are on, we have our dials set just a few numbers away from their signals. We only hear garbled gurgles and static sounds. We husbands need to learn from our wives. We need to seek and respect...

by David Chadwick We accepted the call to our first church in 1980. For our first year in ministry, Marilynn told me she wanted to get our home secure and learn what it's like to be a preacher's wife. Fortunately, the wonderful people of that church never placed any expectations upon her. They simply wanted her to be her! That's what she did. She was always by my side, as a gracious wife and helper. In those early years, when this church was small, we were everything from the youth leaders to pastoral counselors to Bible...

by David Chadwick Dudley Do-Right was a cartoon character. Regularly, he bumbled and fumbled his way toward heroic success. Often after he'd delivered the damsel in distress, she would coyly sigh and say to him, "My hero." Some might suggest that the saved damsel's praise of Dudley's heroism is misogynistic drivel. I don't think so. I think most women yearn for their husbands to be heroes. They want to believe their husbands are willing to sacrificially die for them as Jesus did for the church (Ephesians 5:25). That's true love—not some syrupy, ever-changing fe...

by David Chadwick I wish I'd been smarter in this area. If so, I could have avoided a lot of pain. I stupidly ignored this reality. If I could redo one major part of Marilynn's and my marital life together it would be this one. I'd trust her gut more. I'd honor her intuition. It's happened not once, but on multiple occasions. Marilynn sensed something was wrong. Her spiritual antenna was high. It was receiving strong signals. She sensed something unknown. There was an inward, environmental stimulus without any accompanying reason. It caused extreme tightness...

by David Chadwick The word honor has become missing in action in the English vocabulary. Oh yes, sadly, we sometimes hear about an "honor killing." Most often, that's when a child rejects a certain faith tradition. The father feels he must kill the child for the sake of honor in his home. There is also "honor among thieves." They still seem to hold the word honor in high esteem. The Boy Scouts still begin their pledge with "On my honor, I will do my duty." Some schools still emphasize an honor code. But in reality, the word...

by Marilynn Chadwick I'm convinced the tone I set in our home by honoring David inspired our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world which has largely forgotten this concept, doesn't come easily. It takes practice. I've learned that home is a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will...

by Marilynn Chadwick Honor is not a subject you hear much about these days. If anything, we've become much more accustomed to disrespect and dishonor. The urban slang for disrespect, or "dis," made its way into everyday language. Most any child can tell you what it means to "dis" someone. Or worse, to be "dissed." Honor. Simply put, the word means to treat someone with respect or admiration. It has to do with qualities like honesty, integrity and dignity. The biblical version of honor is much weightier. Even lofty. It speaks to the precious worth...

by Marilynn Chadwick A young mom once asked me if there was anything I'd do differently if I were just starting out in my marriage. After giving it some thought, I responded that I'd be even more intentional about abiding in Christ. I've come to believe that abiding—developing an ongoing connection with the Lord—is the secret to lasting strength in marriage. A while back, my husband David made a comment that got me thinking. "I really like it that you're not needy," he said. "I can tell you're not looking to me for your...

by Marilynn Chadwick Today's world is busy and noisy. How can I lighten my husband's load and his heart? Help him have fun? I've learned that simple habits, like taking a day off together each week, honor David by allowing him to be refreshed. We were also intentional about family vacations. Doing so allowed us to sustain our many years of raising a family and church ministry. We learned we could then return to the fray strengthened and with renewed enthusiasm. Peace should be a priority in our homes. A peaceful home refreshes...

by Marilynn Chadwick A practical way to honor my husband is simply through the home environment I create. Our surroundings, daily routine, and health habits will either help build up my husband or weigh him down in defeat. Scripture instructs wives to be "keepers" of their homes (Titus 2:5 KJV). The word keeper can be translated as "guard." Not only do I pay attention to the physical surroundings of our home, but I am mindful of what happens here. What kinds of movies do we watch? What are our conversations about? Each family is different and...

by Marilynn Chadwick I've discovered that honoring my husband in today's culture requires something of a fight. It helps to realize that we have an enemy. Not just of our soul, but also of our marriages. In addition to waging a war with the devil, our battle for a strong marriage is also a battle against our own selfish tendencies. Honoring our husbands sometimes goes against the grain of our flesh. If we truly want to honor our husbands, we'll find ourselves resisting a world that degrades and disrespects marriage. I've learned I...

by Marilynn Chadwick Showing respect is vital to any healthy marriage. But when it comes to honoring our husbands, it helps to understand that no two marriages or men are exactly alike. Words and actions which make David feel honored and respected might go right over the head of your husband.   I can choose to build up my husband or break him down with the words I speak to and about him. I also encourage David's leadership of our family through my words. For example, the words I speak to our children influence what they t...

by Marilynn Chadwick Over the years, I've discovered that honoring my husband begins in my mind. What I think about David determines whether my words and actions will honor him. Turns out there's some research to back up this observation. Author and longtime Gallup poll associate Marcus Buckingham surveyed thousands of married couples to discover the traits at the core of good marriages. He found something intriguing. The common thread running through happy marriages was this: In the most successful marriages, each partner rated the other person higher than that person rated him or herself. ...

by Marilynn Chadwick When we understand honor as a biblical concept, it sheds light on our God-given roles as husband and wife. In college, I was a spiritual skeptic with strong feminist leanings. After I became a follower of Christ, God's Word opened my eyes to his beautiful and somewhat mysterious plan for marriage. The Bible talks about Eve as Adam's helper. The word "helper," or ezer, means "to support." The word conveys strength and is closely related to the word for rock. I honor David when I'm strong like a rock in my walk...

by Marilynn Chadwick The word honor calls to mind virtues like integrity and honesty. To honor someone is to treat them with admiration or respect. Over the next four weeks, David and I will explore honor from a biblical point of view. Plus, we will give practical tips on how you can begin to honor your husband or wife and create a culture of honor in your own home. Several years ago, David's beloved college basketball coach, North Carolina's legendary Dean Smith, passed away. Next to his own father, David says Smith was the most...