Still Coloring with Toni Collier

Have you ever desperately wanted to hear God's voice... but weren't sure if it was really Him? I want to tell you a powerful story about the first time I believe I heard the voice of God. Y’all know I’ve been going through it – navigating divorce, doing my best as a single mom, facing financial hardship, and healing from trauma. This season really and truly has brought me to complete desperation and ultimately closer to God than ever before. Let’s look at Psalm 91 and I’ll tell you how this Scripture became more than...

What do you do when it feels like everyone else is getting to enjoy the life you prayed for? Today we’re talking about disappointment, unanswered prayers, jealousy, seasons of waiting, and struggling to trust God’s timing. I call it the “pain comparison trap” and it’s HARD, y’all. Comparison can slowly steal your peace and distort your view of yourself and God! If you’ve ever wondered why everyone else seems to be moving forward while you feel stuck, forgotten, or overlooked by God, this conversation is for you. Your pain is not invisible...

What happens when life falls apart… and you have to rebuild from scratch? I’ve been there. And I’m still going through a season of rebuilding years after my second divorce. So, let’s talk about the emotional pain of starting over again when life doesn’t go according to plan.  From grief and disappointment to healing and trusting God in the middle of uncertainty, this episode is for anyone who feels exhausted trying to rebuild their life after heartbreak, loss, divorce, failure, betrayal, or unexpected change. If you’ve ever felt like everyone else is movin...

Divorce is hard. But navigating divorce when your kids are involved? Hello somebody, now that’s a whole different level of pressure!! How do you support your kids emotionally during divorce? What does the Bible say about the fear, guilt, and uncertainty we face as a parent? I’m absolutely not perfect and am still learning as I navigate through, but I want to focus today’s episode on what I’ve learned, paired with some biblical truth.  If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake at night thinking, “Am I messing up my kids?” you’re not alon...

What if the place you think is “freedom” is actually where you’re still in bondage? Friendssss, I’ve gotta share a truly life-changing experience with you. I recently visited a federal women’s prison with God Behind Bars, and it completely redefined my understanding of freedom! Let’s take a look together at John 8 and the story of the woman caught in adultery. We’ll look at how shame, sin, hesitation, and lies from the enemy can keep us stuck… even if we’ve never found ourselves inside the walls of a prison.  We’ve got to do t...

If your heart feels heavy today, this prayer is for you. You don’t have to have the right words. You don’t have to have it all together. If your heart feels heavy, just press play. This week’s episode is a little different! I’ve got a special “rest rhythm” moment for ya – I’m going to walk you through a short, guided prayer rooted in Psalm 61. When life feels overwhelming, when you’re carrying pain you can’t fix, or when your heart feels faint, this moment is an invitation to pause, breathe, and remember that God is...

How do you forgive someone who cheated on you… especially when they don’t deserve it? Buckle uppppp y’all. I’m nothing if not honest; you know this about me. So I’m letting you into more of my healing journey through the repeated affairs of my ex-husband. I’ve endured betrayal and infidelity, which led to our divorce – and yet, I’ve forgiven him. Yes, really. I hear you: “Toni, but HOW?!” Let’s talk about it. You can still forgive even when the pain is still fresh. I walk through the story of Peter’s betrayal in...

Why aren’t your prayers working… even when you’re trying your best? You guys, I’ve been experiencing a whole lot of spiritual warfare like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve felt desperate, I’ve sought out deliverance, and it’s led me to ask a deeper question: what am I really asking God for… and why?  I think there’s something that gets in the way of our prayers, and it’s probably not what you think. Let’s dive into James 4 to look at how our desires, habits, and even good things in our lives can quietly...

The Still Coloring Podcast is officially BACK!! And a lot has changed. I live in a new city, I’ve got a new podcast studio… and I’ve been enduring a really hard season spiritually. The Lord is taking me to new places and I’m taking you along with me. There’s healing in store for all of us and I’m excited about it.  My new podcasting rhythm will be weekly Wednesday episodes. Hope y’all are ready to go deep or go home! Watch podcast episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tonijcolli...

Well, hello, friends!! We’ve done it. We’ve reached the final episode of Season 7 and I’m just so grateful. I hope you’ve enjoyed this “Toni and Friends” season full of some of my favorite people. They got me through this horrific season of betrayal, and through our conversations I trust the Lord has helped you to see how you can boldly step out of hiding to find the godly community that will bring true healing. I’m joined for this finale episode by my friend Terrence Smith. Terrence is the founder of Kill Pride Club, which is...

Today’s guest is Moriah Smallbone, my co-host of the "Unshakeable Moxie" video series with Our Daily Bread Ministries! We met in a pretty unconventional way (basically creative-speed-dating style), yet there’s always been such an ease and sense of normalcy in our friendship. Goodness knows Moriah has seen me through the good, the bad, and the downright horrific these last few years. And it’s been such a privilege for me to watch her fight for her dreams. As a Latin-country artist, the last decade of Moriah’s career has been full of emotional starts and stops – m...

[NOTE: Thanks for hanging with us through some audio issues with this episode! If you're having a hard time following, go watch the episode on YouTube where you can turn on captions – that really helps!]Okay y’all KNOW I’ve become a Burn Boot Camp obsessed gym girly – I would not have gotten through this horrific season of divorce without caring for my body (and building a really sweet community) within the walls of my local gym. And the incredible thing about Burn Boot Camp is that I can keep my workout rhythm going when I travel a...

Well, you guys, I apologize in advance for the snot-cry-filled audio of this episode, but that’s how you know we went REAL DEEP on the topic of sitting with your friends in grief.Eryn Eddy Adkins and I have been friends for nearly a decade. She knew me when I was freshly divorced and then remarried… and now divorced again. It’s so sweet to have a friend who has seen you through all the seasons of adulthood, and the story of redemption I’ve seen in Eryn’s life has given me so much hope for the wo...

I’m so excited for you to hear this conversation today with my friend Debra Fileta. Debra and I have been ministry friends for a while, but she’s played a unique and important role in my healing journey over the past year as it relates to wise counsel around numbing through alcohol. At the end of 2024, I made a decision that alcohol could not be a part of my life any more, and Debra is holding me accountable to what I’ve promised myself and the Lord. Think of this episode as a collab of sorts – I was on...

You ever stumble into a friendship? You meet someone randomly or have a brief encounter with them and then realize that you’ve actually found a meaningful connection? That’s how I feel about Rachel Awtrey. Rachel had me on her podcast back in 2023 and asked about my marriage during the interview, not knowing I was in the early stages of going through my divorce. After the mics stopped recording, I opened up and asked if we could edit that part out, and Rachel saw me. She kept leaning in when she could have just moved on, and I...

Jo Saxton and Lisa Whittle are who I call my “allies in pain.” They are like big sisters to me, lifelines whom I can text at any time for advice. The idea of “withness” that I talk about in my new book, someone’s presence with you in your pain – they have lived it out so beautifully. And they were relentless in making sure that I told the truth about the betrayal I experienced in my marriage two years ago. Lisa, Jo, and I have a conversation about finding (and being) trusted friends, saying the hard and difficult thi...

Jackie Hill Perry and Megan Ashley became friends within the last few years and it’s not an exaggeration to say that their friendship has literally blessed millions. They were once strangers but now they spur each other on in ministry, pray together, keep each other accountable, and fight for unity… and I think we can all learn something from the way they prioritize their friendship. There’s a lot of fear when it comes to friendship, but I pray that this conversation helps you to see just how sacred friendship can be when you intentionally create safety and pursue...

Well, hey friends! It’s been a minute! The last season of Still Coloring hit your feeds last summer, and a whole lot has happened since then. Last season, every episode you heard was just me, recounting all of the ways God (and His people) showed up for me in the darkest moments of my life. It was vulnerable and tear-filled and I hope so very encouraging to anyone going through something similar. The podcast is back for a new season, and I’m excited for you to hear these conversations about community, grief, mental health, and frien...

God is redeeming everything – the Still Coloring podcast is BACK! We’re calling this season “Toni + Friends” and we’re talking about the importance of building deep and intentional community instead of hiding from our pain. In this season’s episodes, you’ll hear conversations about godly adult friendships, pursuing purpose, and walking through grief together.If you want even more on these topics, check out my new book, out August 19, called “Don’t Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain.” Excited to bring you this season’s guests! Lean...

To finish out Season 6 of the Still Coloring podcast, I want to give you some snippets of conversations I’ve had recently with three voices I trust to speak into my own life and grief – Dr. Curt Thompson, Dr. Alison Cook, and Debra Fileta. These three licensed professional counselors have some good stuff to share, and I hope you find hope and direction in what they have to say. It’s real good, I promise. Thank you to my two incredible sponsors for this season of the Still Coloring podcast: Bark Technologies and Dwell Differently! Y'all go...