The ADHD Channel for Women

Is ADHD self-diagnosis valid? According to clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer, that’s the wrong question entirely. When access to diagnosis is limited by cost, insurance, stigma, and identity — and when the people who self-diagnose show higher rates of negative self-image and internalized stigma — the real conversation isn’t about validity. It’s about how we make sure people have access to good information. Cate and Dr. Kilmer dig into what really happens when people research their own neurodivergence. They discuss research analyzing 452,000 Reddit posts that found self-diagnosed individuals seek more social validation. But they benefit less from it....

Content warning: This episode discusses self-harm and suicide. ADHD doesn’t cause self-harm, but the research is clear: People with ADHD — especially women and girls — are significantly more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors, especially during adolescence.  Why is ADHD so closely linked to self-harm? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down how the core features of ADHD — impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, sleep disruption, and difficulty with the “pause button” — can create a perfect storm for dangerous coping. She explains why big emotions hit harder and faster with ADHD, and how that can lead to self-harming behaviors. Dr...

What if your brain had a volume knob? Researcher Dr. Zachary Gershon joins Rae to explain Homer1a, a gene variant that may hold the key to how we focus. When levels are lower during development, the brain gets better at filtering out distractions, or what scientists call “neural noise.” This discovery could one day lead to non-stimulant treatment options for ADHD. And it started with one scientist’s very personal question. For more on this topic Watch: Is ADHD genetic? We asked a Harvard scientist | Hyperfocus Listen: ADHD medication: What do I need to know? For...

If your home has ever felt like it’s working against you, this one’s for you. Certified professional organizer Alison Lush joins the show to unpack the ADHD relationship to stuff. Learn what chronic disorganization actually means, why the Marie Kondo method can backfire, and how to build systems that work with your brain. We also get into the emotional weight of clutter, organizing as a couples issue, and why community might be the most underrated tool of all. For more on this topic Watch: Tips from an ADHD Coach: Big feelings around clutter Explore: Free...

ADHD doesn’t clock out at bedtime. From delayed sleep phases and racing thoughts to stimulant timing and restless nights, sleep disruption is one of the most common (and most overlooked) challenges of living with ADHD. Plus, poor sleep makes every ADHD symptom worse!  In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD and sleep don’t always get along. And she shares five science-backed strategies to help you finally get some rest. For more on this topic  Watch: ADHD and weed: Why it feels like a fix (but isn’t) Read: 13 tips for getting m...

Rae puts on her most uncomfortable pants (on purpose!) to ask a fashion designer and former special ed teacher whether adults can actually get over sensory issues. Julia DeNey, founder of sensory clothing brand Sense-ational You, breaks down why tactile sensitivity doesn’t disappear at 18, what adaptive fashion can (and can’t) fix, and why telling yourself “today’s the day I get over it” is the worst possible strategy. For more on this topic Listen: ADHD and sensory overwhelm: Itchy tags and tight clothes Read: ADHD and sensory overload Watch: Is “ring of fire” ADHD real? For...

Laura Mears-Reynolds, founder of ADHDAF and an award-winning community organizer, joins Cate to talk about online communication, building connection, and staying in touch when you have ADHD. They dig into rejection sensitive dysphoria and miscommunication, object permanence with people, time blindness in relationships — and why online community can be genuinely life-saving. Plus: the great voice memo debate, and why your calendar reminder system for friends is not sociopathic. For more on this topic ADHDAF Feeling unsafe with ADHD (Laura Mears-Reynolds’ story) | ADHD Aha! Building ADHD community | Sorry, I Missed This For a transcript and more resou...

Marijuana can feel like a miracle fix for ADHD, quieting the noise and taking the edge off. But this short-term relief comes with trade-offs. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD brains are drawn to weed, what the research actually says about the long-term consequences, and healthier alternatives. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re self-medicating, this one’s worth your attention. For more on this topic Watch: ADHD and: self-medicating Listen: ADHD and shopping addiction For a transcript and more resources, visit MissUnderstood on Understood.org. You can also email us at podc...

Hyperfocus listener Jenna Plonsky opens a raw conversation about ADHD, late diagnosis, and the mental health struggles many women face in silence.  From postpartum depression to PMDD, this episode explores how hormonal shifts intersect with neurodivergence — and why so many go undiagnosed for decades. It’s an honest look at shame, self-perception, and the turning point that comes with finally understanding your brain. For more on this topic Watch: Did my ADHD make me more likely to have postpartum depression? Listen: ADHD and: Hormones For a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Unders...

Content warning: This episode discusses self-harm.  What does it actually take to finish a book with ADHD?  Cate sits down with Erik Gude, her co-author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to unpack five years of starts, stops, and persistence. They get into taking advantage of accessibility options and overcoming the shame of looming, unfinished projects to get this one done.  For more on this topic  Listen: Infinite Quest (Cate and Erik’s podcast) Listen: ADHD and procrastination For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Unders...

Every year, tax season arrives on schedule. Every year, you scramble to track down bank statements, W2s, receipts, and… UGH. If you have ADHD, that’s not laziness. It’s your brain working against a task it wasn’t built for. Procrastination, forgetfulness, overwhelm, and shame stack up fast.  In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why taxes are so hard for the ADHD brain — and walks through practical systems to turn the annual chaos into a manageable to-do. For more on this topic  Listen: ​​ADHD and how guilt hijacks your brain Watch: ADHD and accountab...

Our team has been seeing something called “ring of fire” ADHD spreading across the internet. It’s a supposed subtype of ADHD promoted by Daniel Amen, a celebrity psychiatrist with clinics in multiple states and a huge online following. But in reporting this episode, we found that “ring of fire” ADHD isn’t recognized by mainstream science. Nor are brain scans approved by the FDA as a diagnostic tool for ADHD. Our guest today, clinical psychologist Roberto Olivardia, PhD, explains why he believes Dr. Amen’s approach is unethical — and how it may lead to real harm for pati...

As we know, Reddit is full of messy love stories, and we have thoughts.  From gaslighting and age gaps to the weird magic of “new relationship energy,” we read posts that make us laugh, cringe, and wonder — can memory be used as a weapon in a relationship? For more on this topic Listen: ADHD and dating Listen: Is it love or is it dopamine? For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. As kids head back to...

For people with ADHD, guilt can feel like a full-time job you never signed up for.  In this episode, Dr. J digs into why your brain keeps hitting replay on minor mistakes, why “I shouldn’t have said that” can echo for hours, and how emotional overdrive makes tiny errors feel enormous.  You’ll get clear strategies to pause, notice patterns, and respond without spiraling.  For more on this topic  Listen: ADHD and shame Read: The 3 areas of executive function Try: ADHD Unstuck (a free self-guided activity) For a transcript and more resource...

Rae has a lifelong misconception about her dyscalculia turned on its head. And she learns why labels don’t mean limits. For more on this topic Listen: Kids are at a breaking point, and school policies might be to blame Listen: The uncertain future of special education in the United States The discrepancy model: What you need to know For a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Understood.org. You can also email us at hyperfocus@understood.org . As kids head back to school, it's a good time to re...

Division of labor between partners isn’t easy for anyone. Add ADHD and suddenly dishes come with shame. Trash becomes a crisis. And rest starts to feel sketchy.  Cate sits down with KC Davis to unpack the messy, deeply human reality of sharing work at home. They talk about resentment, perfectionism, time blindness, trust, and why keeping score almost never fixes anything. For more on this topic Listen: Managing expectations in relationships Read: How to Keep House While Drowning (KC’s book) For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Und...

For many people with ADHD, lying isn’t about dishonesty. It’s a stress response.  Some days your ADHD brain tells a tiny fib just to survive the social jungle. Saying “yes” when you mean “no.” Inventing excuses for forgetting something obvious. Lying isn’t villainy here — it’s impulsivity, executive dysfunction, and a dash of fear. In this episode of ADHD and, Dr. J digs into why ADHD makes dishonesty feel automatic. Plus clever ways to notice, pause, and try something different in the moment. For more on this topic Listen: The noisy ADHD brain...

Last fall, I heard something that floored me: The tests we have for ADHD in adults don’t work very well. As an adult with ADHD, I think about this all the time because our diagnosis is so stigmatized and so misunderstood. It’s overdiagnosed. It’s underdiagnosed. Everybody has it. Nobody has it. If only there were a silver bullet or some test that could definitively say yes or no. So, I asked the two Chicago School faculty members who got me thinking about this after their presentation at the CHADD conference last y...

Have you ever stayed up all night replaying a meeting in your head? Or obsessed over an email? Or questioned every instinct you have? If making decisions feels like a full-time job, this one’s for you! We’re talking with Dr. Mark Schrime, a surgeon with a PhD in the science of decision-making. Hear about the exhausting cycle of analysis paralysis, second-guessing, and decision fatigue that’s a reality for many people with ADHD.  For more on this topic Listen: Analysis paralysis Read: ADHD and analysis paralysis For a transcript and more resourc...

Why can a small stressor like a confusing email or a last-minute change suddenly feel like the floor just dropped out from under you? One minute you’re fine. The next, you’re overwhelmed, avoiding, and stuck in a loop of guilt and overthinking. Dr. J walks through what’s actually happening in your brain and nervous system during an ADHD mood spiral and how avoidance becomes “relief with hidden fees.”  You’ll leave with simple, science-backed ways to regulate, start small, and recover faster when your brain gets loud. For more on this topic...