But For Real

If conflict makes your chest tighten, your brain freeze, or your instinct scream “AVOID AT ALL COSTS, ABORT, ABORT!,” this episode is for YOU, honey.In Episode 37 of But For Real, therapists Val and Em talk honestly about repair—not the Instagram version, but the real-life, messy, emotionally vulnerable process of repairing relationships after conflict. We recorded this episode fresh off a hard week, which means we’re not speaking theoretically. We’re speaking from inside it.We unpack what repair actually looks like when it wasn’t modeled, when uncertainty feels unbearable, and when your nervous...

If you’ve done “the work,” learned nervous system skills, gone to therapy… and you still get dysregulated, this episode is your permission slip to stop spiraling about it.In Episode 36 of But For Real, Val and Em break down what emotional regulation actually means—and why TikTok, pop psychology, and even therapy culture have wildly distorted it. We start the episode under-caffeinated, under-slept, and already dysregulated (relatable), then use that exact moment to talk about what being human really looks like.We answer a listener question from a self-described “dysregulated diva” who’s frustrated that anxiety spi...

January is just… weird, y’all. Not awful necessarily, but also not really the motivation-charged era we’re culturally conditioned that it should be. In this episode of But For Real, we’re naming the post-holiday emotional hangover that sneaks up on so many of us every January. The irritability. The numbness. The low-grade existential dread. The urge to hibernate while the internet screams “new year, new you.”We’re calling it Seasonal Feelings Disorder, not a diagnosis, not a pathology, just an honest name for the cocktail of nervous system burnout, disrupted routines, winter darkness, and c...

Ever tried hypnosis and thought, “Cool… nothing is happening,” while everyone else in the comments claims their soul left their body?Same.In this episode, we’re pulling hypnosis out of the movie version and into real life. No clucking like a chicken. No blacking out. No dramatic “going under.” Just an honest, funny, science-backed conversation about what hypnosis actually is, why it often feels subtle, and why your brain isn’t broken if you’re still aware of everything.We talk about blinking aggressively during guided sessions, noticing every swallow, wondering if you left the dry...

Music is literally the soundtrack of our lives – and music can be incredibly healing when used in the right way. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson dive into the ins and outs of music therapy, how and why it works, and how you can start your own music therapy journey.This episode covers:04:12 - Tea & Crumpets: Virginia Giuffre’s memoir: Nobody’s Girl + Take Back Your Marriage by Bill Doherty09:47 - Step Into My Office: Could music therapy be right for me, even if I’m not “musical”?15:03 - The DSM: What Even Is Musi...

If you feel like adult life is just full of responsibilities, to-dos, meetings, and seriousness, you’re not alone. With busy schedules and the weight of the world, it’s easy to feel disconnected. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson explore the relationship we have as play as adults, why it’s actually integral to your well-being and how to start inviting in joy again 🫶This episode covers:03:17 - Tea & Crumpets: Freaky Friday + Freakier Friday and Emerson’s screen free sauna/steam Sunday routine07:08 - Step Into My Office: How can I get over th...

In a world full of uncertainty and pain, life can feel devoid of meaning and hope—but what if life could also feel incredibly rich by showing up for it fully? You don’t have to have it all figured out to live with depth, and existential humanistic psychology can help you reconnect with life meaningfully.This episode covers:03:33 - Tea & Crumpets: Rewatching Nashville + The Lowdown07:21 - Step Into My Office: Okay, I’ve learned to cope… but now what?11:25 - The DSM: Existential-Humanistic Psychology43:30 - Now That's What I Call....OKAAAAY!44:43 - Em’s Pick: "End of Beg...

In a world that’s both metaphorically and literally on fire, it can feel nearly impossible to figure out how the hell to live without either feeling like you’re gaslighting yourself into “normalcy” or getting so paralyzed by eco-anxiety that you can’t function. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into all things Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief, as well as steps you can take to navigate a burning world without getting STUCK in the apathetic loop of grieving our Mother Earth.This episode covers:04:40 - Tea & Crumpets: Katrina: Come Hell and High Wa...

Conversations around self-growth are all over every media platform these days – and while introspection and commitment to growth and change is important, it’s easy for it to be an all consuming trap that’s actually the opposite of growth.In this episode, Valerie and Emerson take a deep dive into the history of the self-growth industrial complex, explore what’s useful, debunk what’s not, and give you real advice on how to tackle self-improvement without spiraling.This episode covers:05:26 - Tea & Crumpets: Bob Trevino Likes It + the Abbey Yung hair metho...

In a time where it feels like 2000s diet culture is back in full force, this week’s episode about eating disorders and body image is important now more than ever. Whether you’re currently struggling with your body, have struggled in the past, love someone who struggles, or are just interested in a deep dive on these complex challenges, this episode is for you.This episode covers:02:32 - Tea & Crumpets: Sabrina Carpenter’s new album and The Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg05:08 - Step Into My Office: Do I have an eating disorder or is jus...

Today we have such an exciting episode and a special guest. Santasha Wright-Comer, LMSW, is a Sex-Informed Therapist here The Gaia Center who believes healing and pleasure go hand in hand. A proud wife and mom of two, Santasha brings both warmth and realness into her work, especially when supporting LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities in finding safety, joy, and intimacy in their relationships. When she’s not in session, you can catch her in dance class, laughing with her family, or researching the latest mods for The Sims 4.In this episode, SanTasha shares so much wisdom related to...

Alcohol culture is pervasive—and while alcohol isn’t unhealthy for EVERYONE, the discourse can be pretty inescapable. Whether you’ve been alcohol free for years, curious about your relationship with alcohol, or trying to stop, this episode is for you!This episode covers:00:03:08 - Tea & Crumpets: All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata and delaying gratification by doing things slowly00:08:20 - Step Into My Office: How do I set boundaries with family related to alcohol?00:13:25 - The Lore: Val’s journey to an alcohol free life00:26:55 - The DSM: Alcohol in 202500:57:36 - Now That's What I Call...

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into an always controversial topic: infidelity. They explore what infidelity actually is, statistics, why people cheat, cultural considerations, and the role therapy can play.This episode covers:03:28 - Tea & Crumpets: The Osbournes and Shrinking Season 206:08 - Step Into My Office: HELP! My friend is cheating…10:04 - The DSM: THE hottest debate in all media ever and IRL relationships… let’s talk about INFIDELITY38:29 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!41:52 - Emerson’s Pick: "My Mind" by Yebba46:45 - Valerie’s Pick: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Dis...

In this episode, we are excited to dive into all things men’s mental health & the power of gaming with one of The Gaia Center’s team members, Sam DiMartino!In his clinical work, Sam supports individuals and couples through an array of topics like grief, trauma, toxic masculinity + men’s issues, systemic oppression, identity exploration etc and also leads our men’s group Tearing Down The Walls! As our Client Journey Liaison he assists our leadership team with ensuring excellent client care and experience, and he does a damn good job. When he’s not therapizing, you can fi...

Today’s episode is allllll about MONEY HUNNY – how we are influenced to think about the construct of money, financial wellbeing, and balancing all of this in the modern landscape of capitalism and consumerism.This episode covers:06:59 - Tea & Crumpets: Stretching in the pool + Courtney Carver11:27 - Step Into My Office: Navigating financial boundaries with friends 18:04 - The DSM: The Psychology of Money44:17 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!45:41 - Emerson Pick: "Seven Rings" by Ariana Grande48:07 - Valerie Pick: "Look At Me Now" by Karmin (CB Cover)48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: H-E-B supporting Texas flood...

In today’s world, there’s an interesting juxtaposition between constant (and often necessary) use of technology coupled with conversations around unplugging. In this episode, we dive into digital detoxing, why everyone suddenly wants a flip phone, and how our nervous systems are begging for boundaries. From nostalgic phone memories to the psychology of being “always on,” we’re asking: can we ever truly unplug? (Spoiler: you don’t have to throw your phone in the ocean… but we get it.)This episode covers:05:48 - Tea & Crumpets: Tokyo Disney & Sunrise On The Reaping10:47 - Step Into My Office: Set...

In this episode, we have our first installment of a special new mini series titled Living Your Activism. In this series, we're talking to activists and advocates across a wide variety of missions and passions about how they found their thing, what they do to stay grounded and connected with joy amidst all the chaos in the world, and what it means to truly live their activism, not just as a checkbox or some burnout inducing giant commitment, but as something that's interwoven throughout their life in a nourishing, sustainable way.Our guest for this first installment...

While the thought of telling a group of strangers about your inner feelings can be scary for many people, group therapy can actually be incredibly powerful. In this episode, we explore the roots of group therapy, the different types of groups, the benefits, times when group therapy is and isn’t a good fit, and resources for finding a group appropriate for your healing journey.This episode covers:06:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Handmaid’s Tale Season 6 and Flow12:46 - Step Into My Office: Group therapy after higher levels of treatment15:40 - The Lore: The story of Emerson gett...

Spirituality, religion, and being “woo-woo” are all hot topics these days – especially here in Nashville!In this episode, Val and Emerson tackle WTF spirituality actually means, how it differs from religion, how it intertwines with existentialism, and low-stakes ways to engage with it while also avoiding spiritual bypassing.And, as always, we get into other good stuff, including a spooky airBNB story from Val’s cousin (and The Gaia Center’s Director of Operations) Rebecca 👻This episode covers:06:04 - Tea & Crumpets: Val’s new cooking routine + Emerson’s obsession with Swig10:32...

For many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy. This episode covers:00:03:23 - Tea & Crumpets: Zumba at the YMCA + Harmen Hoek00:06:53...