But For Real

But For Real

byValerie Martin & Emerson Ryder

EducationSelf-ImprovementHealthFitnessMentalSocietyCulture

Welcome to But For Real: the podcast where all your swirling thoughts about mental health, pop culture, and how to human are blended into one delicious variety show, co-hosted by therapists Valerie Martin (resident elder millennial ✌️) and Emerson Ryder (resident Gen Z 🫶).

Episodes(38 episodes)

Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized” 🙅

E17 - Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized” 🙅

Despite misinformed pop culture statements, OCD isn’t a punchline—it’s a chronic brain loop that can be incredibly challenging for individuals to receive the care they need. In this episode, Val and Em get into the ins-and-outs of OCD, including suggestions for folks who are struggling with it, as well as folks who have a friend or loved one who is struggling. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff including TV recs and some hopeful headlines – like a rancher’s dog rescuing an infant 🥹This episode covers:04:40 - Tea & Crumpets: The Last of U...
Published: Apr 30, 2025Duration: 50:48
Help! The Voice in My Head Is… Kind Of a B*tch

E16 - Help! The Voice in My Head Is… Kind Of a B*tch

If you’ve ever struggled with a rough inner critic, you’re not alone. While the judgments of the world can certainly get in the way of living your best life, we’re often our own worst enemies. But the good news is that Valerie and Emerson have you covered with a deep dive into the psychology of self-criticism and tips for how to navigate it. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff, like what “Queening Out” means 💁🏻‍♀️This episode covers:04:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Book Lovers by Emily Henry and Dense Bean Salad07:41 - Step Into...
Published: Apr 16, 2025Duration: 52:57
The One About Adult Friendship 🫂

E15 - The One About Adult Friendship 🫂

If you’ve struggled to build or maintain friendships as an adult, you’re not alone – and in this episode, we’ve got you covered!This episode covers:02:20 - Tea & Crumpets: Adolescence on Netflix + Lights On audio documentary07:44 - Step Into My Office: Tips for a fizzling friendship12:41 - The DSM: Seeking/Building Adult Friendships in these trying times32:41 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! 34:16 - Val’s Pick: "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C35:03 - Em’s Pick: "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars35:12 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Gene therapy for sickle cell anemia + a trapped dol...
Published: Apr 2, 2025Duration: 40:10
Body Grief & Disability Advocacy with Jayne Mattingly

E14 - Body Grief & Disability Advocacy with Jayne Mattingly

Today’s episode is so exciting as we have our first guest external to The Gaia Center – the phenomenal Jayne Mattingly.JAYNE MATTINGLY is a disability advocate and eating disorder helping professional. She is also the Founder of the non-for-profit The AND Initiative, which aims to provide inspiration, advocacy, resources, support, and the gifting mobility aids to those with chronic illness and physical disabilities. Jayne lives in South Carolina with her husband and pets.Through her personal experiences and in sharing the stories from everyday people, Jayne illustrates that our body has not and will never be agai...
Published: Mar 19, 2025Duration: 1:00:15
Parasocial Relationships, AKA The Lopsided Bestie Squad 👯‍♀️

E13 - Parasocial Relationships, AKA The Lopsided Bestie Squad 👯‍♀️

In this week’s episode, Valerie and Emerson are coming at ya live from the corner of a hotel by the Nashville airport thanks to some less than stellar weather before they head to a hypnotherapy training 🤓The main event in this episode is all things parasocial relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And as always, we get into plenty more fun stuff, including what having “the ick” means and some hopeful headlines.This episode covers:05:29 - Tea & Crumpets: Nashville Public Library’s Out of County card + Wakes (Ada & Nathan Ketchie)09:09 - Step Into My...
Published: Mar 5, 2025Duration: 54:35
TOO MANY TABS  😶‍🌫️ The ADHD Episode

E12 - TOO MANY TABS 😶‍🌫️ The ADHD Episode

Conversations about ADHD (some helpful, some the complete opposite) are practically everywhere in our current world. In this episode, Val and Emerson take a deep dive into what ADHD really is, beyond what short form content often misses. Whether you have ADHD, think you might have ADHD, love someone with ADHD, or are just curious about WTF it is, this episode is for you!This episode covers:01:17 - Random recent hyperfixations03:30 - Tea & Crumpets - Reading ambience music on YouTube + technology boundaries/the joy of missing out08:38 - Step Into My Office: Struggling to read an...
Published: Feb 19, 2025Duration: 58:09
The Sleep Episode

E11 - The Sleep Episode

Ahhhh, sleep. The thing we spend a third of our life doing and that many people don’t get enough of – grab those jammies and eye masks and let’s talk about sleep!This episode covers:01:59 - Tea & Crumpets: From Here to the Great Unknown + Activations App06:25 - Step Into My Office: When work struggles seep into our personal lives11:13 - The DSM: Talking about all things sleep40:48 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAAY!41:50 - Em Pick: "Adore You" by Miley Cyrus43:58 - Val Pick: "Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKennitt44:24 - Wait… What?! (~the sleep edition~...
Published: Feb 5, 2025Duration: 51:55
How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

E10 - How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

Whether you’re currently in therapy or have been exploring finding a therapist, you’ve probably wondered, “How do I get the most out of therapy?”In this episode, Valerie and Emerson share their top tips for making the most out of your sessions…and Emerson also shares a real therapist moment of ripping her pants at the office 🫣As always, there’s so much more, including great song recommendations and some hopeful moments to get you through the chaos and heaviness of living in this world.This episode covers:00:06:34 - Tea & Crumpets – KINR...
Published: Jan 22, 2025Duration: 1:04:35
Kicking Off the New Year with Compassionate Self-Discipline

E9 - Kicking Off the New Year with Compassionate Self-Discipline

2025 is officially here, and in this week’s episode, Val and Emerson are talking all about how to kick off the new year with compassionate self-discipline, instead of the often toxic #newyearnewme mentality. This episode covers:03:42 - Tea & Crumpets: Emerson is getting creative with her iPad and Val finally started watching Nobody Wants This.08:03 - The Lore: After extreme stress due to caring for aging parents, a woman had a bizarre immune reaction that showed her very tangibly that she needed a fresh start.11:50 - The DSM: The #NewYearNewMe culture historically isn’t working for the vast...
Published: Jan 8, 2025Duration: 44:23
Deep Dive on our Fave Besties, ✨ ANXIETY & STRESS ✨

E8 - Deep Dive on our Fave Besties, ✨ ANXIETY & STRESS ✨

In this week’s episode, Val and Em take a deep dive into two topics that are relatable for pretty much everyone in today’s society – anxiety and stress 😅From basic definitions, to stats, to practical tips for how to actually manage anxiety and stress, this episode is a must listen.And, as always, we get into so much more – including some of Val’s lore 🤪This episode covers:1:00 - Thoughts on the end of the year/new year reflections02:47 - Tea & Crumpets: Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates & Buy Now...
Published: Dec 25, 2024Duration: 58:29
Overconsumption Gone Wild 💸🫠

E7 - Overconsumption Gone Wild 💸🫠

This week’s episode is very timely – from exploring how influencer culture and hyperconsumerism intertwine (we’re lookin’ at you, post-Black-Friday-buyer’s-remorse 😅), to the wild ride that was Emerson acquiring her new “happy light”, the sweet story of two friends that met through an accidental text message, and so much more – this episode has something for everyone!This episode covers:03:34 - Tea & Crumpets: Outlander is BACK and Wicked is AMAZING!!!07:57 - The Lore: How Emerson got her happy light13:53 - The DSM: Influencer Culture + Hyperconsumerism47:02 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY48:11 - Val’s Pick: “Paper Bag” by Fion...
Published: Dec 11, 2024Duration: 56:38
The Fascinating Mindf*ck that is Nostalgia

E6 - The Fascinating Mindf*ck that is Nostalgia

Ah, nostalgia…What is it about this slippery little beastie that can simultaneously turn on all the good feels of reminiscing on the good ole’ days, while also making you compare your current self to your past self in a way that makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out? We are diving deep into the good, bad, and ugly of nostalgia in this episode— and a lot more!In this episode of But For Real, we’re gabbing about:01:18 - Val and Emerson’s post election reflections05:10 - Tea & Cru...
Published: Nov 27, 2024Duration: 50:47
Dating & Attachment Styles in the App Era

E5 - Dating & Attachment Styles in the App Era

While this week’s episode is airing in a post-2024 election world, it was recorded prior to the election – so you’ll get to hear Val & Emerson’s thoughts + advice for their future selves…which is now advice for their current selves. 😵‍💫🤪This episode runs the gamut from Dancing With The Stars & Bad Monkey, some of Emerson’s lore, whatever TF touching grass means, and our main event – navigating dating and attachment styles in the app era.So, whether you’re looking for a good TV or music rec, want to reconnect with your own embarrassing middle school...
Published: Nov 13, 2024Duration: 1:01:11
Will AI replace therapists? 🤖🫠

E4 - Will AI replace therapists? 🤖🫠

You can’t watch more than 10 minutes of news these days without hearing some reference to AI (our bff, artificial intelligence)— and it’s popping up everywhere from celebrities and politics to music, shopping, and healthcare. In this ep, we’re breaking down the pros and cons, ethical considerations, and future directions of AI specifically within mental healthcare and therapy— and it is a JUICY one, y’all. And of course as always, we also get into a lot more!This episode covers:00:54 - Intro: Emerson seeing Chappel Roan and Val’s Texas Trip03:46 - Tea & Crumpets: The...
Published: Oct 30, 2024Duration: 59:50
“What is grief, if not love persevering?” with Kalaway Voss

E3 - “What is grief, if not love persevering?” with Kalaway Voss

Today’s guest, The Gaia Center’s very own resident grief-expert Kalaway Voss, shares wisdom and tangible ways that we can move through grief, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a more ambiguous loss such as the ending of a relationship, or anything in between.About Kalaway VossKalaway Voss is a mental health therapist at The Gaia Center in Nashville, TN. She completed her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Kalaway specializes in working with adults navigating grief and loss, anxiety, depression, complex trauma, and fo...
Published: Oct 16, 2024Duration: 55:14
TikTok is Not the DSM: Practicing Discernment with Pop Psychology

E2 - TikTok is Not the DSM: Practicing Discernment with Pop Psychology

Today’s episode is once again a wild ride – and whether you’re struggling with sexual desire, obsessed with Sabrina Carpenter’s new album, or trying to wade through the wild west of Pop Psychology, we’ve got something for you.This episode covers:[1:00] Weekend recap – Emerson’s adventures of cat sitting & Val’s piano karaoke bar date night[3:18] Emerson’s Tea & Crumpets for the week – Sabrina Carpenter’s new album Short N Sweet[5:18] Val’s Tea & Crumpets – Hysterical podcast from Dan Taberski[8:00] Step Into My Office – Struggles with sexual desire, desire discrepancy, and tips for how to deal[19:00] The Lore...
Published: Oct 2, 2024Duration: 59:22
Welcome to the Rabbit Hole 🐇🕳️

E1 - Welcome to the Rabbit Hole 🐇🕳️

Welcome to the FIRST EPISODE of But For Real!In this episode, you get to know both Valerie and Emerson a bit more, as well as getting acquainted with all of the segments of the show – and of course, as the title says, dive into the rabbit hole 🐇This episode covers:[02:00] Emerson’s experience growing up abroad, her US citizenship journey, what being Gen Z means to her, and her favorite thing about being a therapist[12:30] Val’s podcasting history and why she started But For Real, how The Gaia Center started, what being an elder...
Published: Sep 26, 2024Duration: 1:11:18
Trailer: But For Real - a new podcast from The Gaia Center

Trailer: But For Real - a new podcast from The Gaia Center

In this trailer, we cover everything you need to know about But For Real ✨....and stay tuned for the first two episodes dropping 9.25.24 🤩 Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.comBut For Real on IG: @butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: Authentic Therapy in Nashville - The Gaia Center‌DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utili...
Published: Sep 18, 2024Duration: 1:28