Haysnacks

by479 Media

ComedyMusicSocietyCulture

Enjoy Haysnacks, the bite-sized comedy podcast from Northwest Arkansas’s own Haystack—morning radio’s master of mischief on 106.5 KBVA and 96.7 The Bull. Each episode packs in the best moments from Haystack’s daily shows, including fan-favorite highlights, his legendary “morning six pack” top 6 lists, and the hilarious weekly phone call with his super-redneck pal, Alabama Bama. Don’t miss the Saturday “Leftovers” episode, where Haystack serves up the jokes and bits that didn’t make it on air (due to time, or because they were too weird or wild). Designed for busy listeners, Haysnacks delivers quick, snackable laughs whenever you need them—perfec...

Episodes(40 episodes)

Morning 6-Pack - Little domestic joys singles totally miss

A new study tracked about 3,000 people and found 90% of singles are genuinely happy — so being single isn’t the tragedy a lot of married folks make it out to be. Still, I couldn’t resist doing the Morning 6-Pack where we count down six oddly awesome relationship perks long-term singles miss. We poke fun at stuff like putting your shampoo on the shower floor because she gets the caddy, Sunday yelling at the TV like it owes you money, and making room in the bed for her cat. It’s quick, sarcastic, and full of dumb little truths that’ll make yo...

Published: Oct 23, 2026Duration: 2m 51s

Trump’s new endorsement metric: how handsome is your candidate?

Donald Trump has apparently added a new campaign qualification: how good the male candidate looks. I’m telling you, he’s out here judging shoulders, hands, feet, legs and yes, even the backside of Ohio senator John Husted like it’s a beauty contest. He’s been praising football players’ tree-trunk legs, ogling UFC physiques, and even reminiscing about Arnold Palmer’s body — honestly sounds less like politics and more like a Mr. America tryout. I joke that he’s spinning off Miss Universe into a male pageant, ’cause his commentary reads like a swimsuit round with more spray tan. We riff on th...

Published: Oct 22, 2026Duration: 1m 44s

Morning 6-Pack - 6 Signs You’re Not Ready for Sky Driving (yes, you)

We're counting down the top six reasons you should never, ever get behind the wheel of a flying car. I'm Haystack, and after Elon Musk's rocket‑car tease and a poll that found 41% would maybe ride, 46% would nope out, and 12% are on the fence, we figured it's time to roast the whole idea. I jab at the demographics — young Southern dudes are weirdly hyped, seniors? Not so much, only 13% say they'd definitely try it. Then I rip through six quick, joke‑packed reasons — stuff like cars held together by duct tape and driving records rated R — to show why some peopl...

Published: Oct 22, 2026Duration: 3m 15s

Cars Cost $50K Now; Not Luxury, Just... Cars

The average price of a new car is over $50,000 now — yeah, fifty grand, not just the fancy stuff. Full-size pickups are sitting near $67,500 and the average monthly payment is about $776, so this ain’t your grandpa’s car loan. Folks have been trading down to smaller SUVs and cheaper trims, but the baseline cost still won’t budge — wild. Dealers are getting desperate and weird: a local Lincoln Mercury ad actually touted a “Firstborn Sales Event,” offering discounts for “well-qualified babies” and straight-up telling you to “surrender your firstborn.” We crack up about it on the show because $2,000 off feels like pocket chan...

Published: Oct 21, 2026Duration: 2m 27s

Morning 6-Pack - I Judge You By Your Halloween Candy

An HOA actually told neighbors to stop handing out full‑size candy bars so Halloween stays “consistent” and no one feels pressured — yeah, really. I think that’s bonkers, so I ripped into the whole thing (they’re literally coming for your Snickers). We crack open a Morning 6‑Pack of jokes about what the candy you hand out says about you — quick hits, sarcastic digs, and zero patience for HOA logic. I throw shade at everything from Milk Duds-level cheapness to the soul-crushing horror of Candy Corn, but I’m saving the top punchline for the show. Fast, silly, and definitely not...

Published: Oct 21, 2026Duration: 3m 44s

Alabama Bama - SpaceX Stock

I pick up the phone and Bama's already plotting to invent kids so she can snag hypothetical SpaceX stock from Elon Musk. I try to talk sense into her, but she’s proud of having “invented fathers” for years and thinks rocket shares are just fancy Monopoly money. We fumble through the whole “stock vs. stock” joke — she once bought 14 cans of chicken broth instead of shares — and the self-checkout is apparently witchcraft. She says she’d use the windfall to buy back her pontoon and get matching “I knew you were my mama” T‑shirts for her real kids, while the imagin...

Published: Oct 21, 2026Duration: 2m 23s

Electronic Shelf Labels: Dynamic Pricing at Walmart

Walmart might be quietly jacking prices while you shop — or at least that’s what a guy named Patrick claimed after a stick of butter marked $3.98 rang up higher and the manager shrugged that “prices can change” thanks to computer updates. I riff on how stores are slipping into dynamic pricing mode — electronic shelf labels, patents that could tweak prices based on what’s in your cart, even facial-recognition stuff that sounds like a casino met a grocery aisle. Walmart says “we price products, not people” and reminds us a patent doesn’t mean they’re using it, but c’mon, it still give...

Published: Oct 20, 2026Duration: 3m 17s

Morning 6-Pack - Why Boomers Should Totally Still Celebrate Halloween

83% of boomers are skipping Halloween — not because they hate it, they just aren’t participating, and I find that wild. So we hit you with a Morning 6-Pack: six dumb-good reasons why boomers should absolutely love Halloween. I riff on stuff like the joy of handing out hard candy, saving cash by going full zombie, and the undeniable utility of candy corn as fake dentures. We also joke about calling the cobwebs “decor” and ghosts being practice for the afterlife — but I’m not ruining the best punchline. Fast, silly, and way too smug about candy, this one’s short, snarky...

Published: Oct 20, 2026Duration: 2m 29s

Morning 6-Pack - Six lazy ways to 'clean' your house

We still do the same lazy cleaning shortcuts we learned as kids — and I’m counting down the Morning 6-Pack: six hilarious ways people “clean” without actually cleaning. A new survey even says the average American leans on about five of these hacks — 40% just spray air freshener to mask smells, 37% light a candle, and a bunch of us make the bed while the rest of the room looks like a cyclone or shove everything in a closet. So yeah, adulthood = nicer furniture to hide your mess, not more responsibility. I riff through goofy ideas like painting your shower black to match t...

Published: Oct 19, 2026Duration: 2m 33s

Give Your Dog an Extra Hug Today — I Miss Lumen

I had to say goodbye to my dog Lumen on Friday after 16 years together. She came from the Fayetteville Animal Shelter and was absolutely terrified of cars, so road trips were basically a no-go — happy to stay in her bed and judge me from the yard. She had the funniest little life: terrified of Pupperoni in the truck, once got into a margarita and legitimately acted like she'd closed down a Mexican restaurant at 2 a.m. Her hips got so bad that walking became painful, and last week I made that awful decision every pet owner dreads because it wa...

Published: Oct 19, 2026Duration: 3m 44s

Morning 6-Pack - GTA6 Ruining The American Dream?

GTA6 drops November 19 and Rockstar is hyping it as ultra-realistic — like you gotta buy gas, deal with debt, housing costs, and apparently the “modern American dream” is owning a house and paying off your credit cards. I’m not thrilled about video games turning into budget meetings — I play to steal Ferraris and blow stuff up, not to check my APR. So we busted out the Morning 6-Pack and counted down the top six things that feel like the American dream in 2026. We riff on stuff like a phone that actually folds because it’s new (not because you sat on it...

Published: Oct 16, 2026Duration: 3m 14s

Is Trick or Treating Dying?

People are now paying strangers — called “Uber Treats” — to go trick-or-treating for their kids while the kids stay on the couch. I joke, but for real: you upload a pic of your kid in costume, pick basic/premium/full-size candy, track the driver as they hit houses (and skip the raisin ones), and if Reese’s are out you get “free‑range” candy corn as a substitute. I love that Halloween started centuries ago in Ireland and Scotland where kids actually had to perform a song or poem to earn candy — like an audition for sugar. America streamlined it into neighborhood...

Published: Oct 16, 2026Duration: 2m 32s

Haunted Economy?

Guys, the scariest thing on TV right now isn't Freddy — it's inflation, energy prices, and that spooky 10-year Treasury yield. I’ll keep it quick: when the feds borrow, they sell Treasuries, the yield is the return investors get, and when yields climb, mortgage rates and other borrowing costs usually follow. That trickles into housing, business loans, prices, and even hiring — aka real-life jump-scares way worse than a mask. Bond prices fall when yields rise, so your mortgage could feel the bite even if you’ve never touched a T-bill. We joke about CNBC’s ticker and Jim Cramer, but seriou...

Published: Oct 15, 2026Duration: 2m 47s

Morning 6-Pack - 6 hilariously useful ways to reuse a Pringles tube

Pringles is running a wild promo called “Once You Drop” — you can win a custom Pringles‑shaped metal urn and an after‑lifetime supply of chips (they say one can a week for 200 years, but actually hand you about $28K now). I love that this all traces back to Frederick Bauer asking to be buried in a Pringles can — iconic and weird, mission accomplished. We riff on the idea in today’s Morning 6‑Pack, tossing out six other legit and ridiculous ways to reuse those tubes. I tease a few — think sneaky flask, sad‑desk organizer, and even a DIY lie detector — b...

Published: Oct 15, 2026Duration: 3m 22s

National Pet Obesity Day — I Gently Body‑Shamed a Labrador

Today is National Pet Obesity Awareness Day, so we gotta ask: is your dog Fluffy or is your dog fat? Turns out nearly 6 in 10 dogs and more than 6 in 10 cats are overweight or obese — that vet data ain't pretty. But we all lie to ourselves: when the vet says Buddy needs to lose eight pounds, we're like, "Whoa, you're body shaming a Labrador." Pets are relentless con artists — they polish off a bowl, reappear 90 seconds later acting like they survived the Dust Bowl, and cats will literally file complaints. Treats from everyone add up, so part of loving your pet...

Published: Oct 14, 2026Duration: 2m 36s

Morning 6-Pack - 6 Signs You're at a Lame Haunted House

Americans are absolutely in love with haunted houses — we literally pay to walk into a dark building where humans are employed to scare the crap out of us. I riff on why that weird business model works, from Depression-era basement scares to Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion flipping ghosts into theme-park glam and the horror-movie boom that turned chainsaws into a marketing plan. Then I pop open the Morning 6-Pack and count down the top six signs you’re at a lame haunted house — think mummies rocking Charmin logos and monsters who only moan because someone fed them Taco Bell. We poke...

Published: Oct 14, 2026Duration: 2m 55s

Alabama Bama on Betting Apps

We're betting on everything — I pick up the phone and Bama announces she and her girls launched a full-on "trailer draft," basically DraftKings with more warrants, where they wager on the dumbest stuff from their lives. She’s got a big bingo bet (will an old lady win or need oxygen first — instant replay, apparently), a wager on whether a conjugal visit will turn into a “destination wedding” at a county lockup, and a favorite: who’ll knock on her door next — lover, process server, or both (yes, both). Bama brags she’s up $47.17, a carton of Newports, and partial custody...

Published: Oct 14, 2026Duration: 2m 55s

Morning 6-Pack - 6 Signs Your Grandparents Are Secretly Loaded

Turns out folks 75 and older are the richest age group in America — median net worth about $505k vs $33k for people 35 and under. I stumbled on that and, yeah, it checks out: decades of house appreciation, stock market time, and kiddos who actually left the nest. So I ripped open a Morning 6-Pack and counted down six dead-giveaway signs your grandparents are low-key loaded. We hit stuff like driving a Lambo through the farmer’s market and having a Metamucil cellar (because of course), plus pickleball on an all-grass court — you get the vibe. I keep it fast, silly, and sl...

Published: Oct 13, 2026Duration: 2m 58s

National Farmers Day Tribute

Today — Oct. 12 — is National Farmers Day, so I’m yelling out to anyone who’s wrestled a tractor or basically puts a year’s work in the ground and prays the weather, markets, bugs and politics behave. I run through how farmers are simultaneously a mechanic, a vet, an accountant, a meteorologist, a logistics manager and, apparently, professional gamblers — because yeah, you plant and then hope. This time of year it’s perfect to notice them: combines are rolling, harvest is full-on, and these folks are working before sunrise and long after dark while we whine about DoorDash taking 45 minutes. I rem...

Published: Oct 12, 2026Duration: 3m 57s

Morning 6-Pack - Old-School Social Trends I’m Calling Back

I’m counting down the Morning 6-Pack — six old-school social trends that I swear should make a comeback. We zip through stuff like gathering around the radio, rocking top hats like it ain’t a stage prop, writing Victorian-style notes instead of “u up?”, snapping pics with real cameras at concerts, and waking to the glorious, relentless clang of an old alarm clock. I keep it fast, snarky, and full of dumb jokes — the kind of banter that sounds like your goofy uncle at Thanksgiving. No spoilers on the big finale — you gotta listen for that one. Come for the nostalgia...

Published: Oct 12, 2026Duration: 3m 36s